An Evening of Theatre Related Entertainment

Last night I spent among the theatre kids at my school though they paid little attention to my presence. The first event I attended was entitled Horror Freaks and B-Movie Geeks and showcased junior and senior musical theatre majors performing songs from horror related musicals. This was widely advertised around campus and I became excited at seeing the likes of Bat Boy, The Toxic Avenger, and The Evil Dead up there, which I had always wanted to see but had never gotten the opportunity to go.



Upon entering the lab theatre a program was thrust at me by the music theatre director who looked at me as if I had no reason to be there. I then proceeded to go into the theater which still had a lot of empty seats. I then realized that 90% of the seats were reserved but a kindly sophomore theatre major waved at me and directed me to a seat beside him that had poor visibility and was off to the side. There were a few other theatre majors beside me who seemed equally pissed about their seating; I wonder why they were not one of the few who did not have a reserved seat. Really though what was the point of advertising this when clearly anyone not in the department had very little chance of getting a seat?

Anyway the show itself was fun but a mixed bag. The show covered several musicals that were quite entertaining. It opened up with “Come Look at the Freaks” from Side Show, which I had never heard of but was a very good way to usher in the evening. The highlights of the evening were when they did three song story arcs from a few musicals. The most popular of these was of course The Rocky Horror Show which featured Season 5 So You Think You Can Dance Contestant Evan Kasprzak wearing some sparkly gold man panties that barely covered anything. My personal favorite cycle was from Evil Dead, the Musical but I’m a huge fan of the movie. They also did a couple from Bat Boy, the Musical. “Hold Me Bat Boy” was a good one but I wish they had actually shown Bat Boy.

However, this was a lot better than the song they did from Toxic Avenger, which had absolutely nothing to do with the titular character. This happened a couple of times where the song chosen really had nothing to do with any sort of context of the musical and could have been from anything; when I’m promised The Toxic Avenger, I want The Toxic Avenger. I realize that they couldn’t do the makeup or anything but that doesn’t matter; I wasn’t expecting fully accomplished mini-productions.

One thing I noticed was the divisions in the sophomore class of theatre majors that were not really there in the other classes. There is the strange, weird group that busts into song at random inappropriate times and tend to wear bizarre, ironic (I hope) outfits. Then there was the other group of trendy, sophisticated theatre majors that are all incredibly attractive but are too cool and vastly superior to myself. At least at this school these are the kind of theatre majors that have always been around; they always look like someone you would want to hang out with but have a huge superiority complex and scoff at non-theatre majors. The other, annoying, group bears more of a resemblance to the theatre geeks you knew in high school. This is of course mean and not necessarily true of the entire school of theatre arts; many have been very nice to me but the only ones that have ever had substantial friendships with me have all been to a degree outcasts within the program.

In general though, while I still go to a lot of theatre stuff, I want to be fucking cultured don’t I?, I went to a ton of shows even Phoenix shows attended by twenty people that required my waiting outside in the cold for hours. When I go to house shows around town eventually by seeing the same people over and over again they start talking to you. This is not the case with members of the school of theatre arts. Even if someone does acknowledge me there seems to be no recollection of the dozens of times we have stood in line together, instead there is just a puzzled look expressing who the hell is this person and how did they find out about our exclusive performances. Anyway onto JM7, the improv group on campus.

I first went to JM7, my freshman year and went often. It was consistently great and funny. A few really good members graduated and they recruited some more for my sophomore years, such is how the world works. Of the new recruits they were mostly finding their way but you could tell they had potential if they worked together long enough. The main problem was that they recruited two people who were just fucking awful. Of course part of it was theatre politics; one of my aforementioned friends that had auditioned didn’t make it due to some guy not liking him, at least that’s how it appeared to me, but hey if you want to sabotage your group over stupid shit that’s your business. I became really disenchanted with it and this was the first time I had gone this year. I was pleasantly surprised though how well it went over. It started off a little shaky but soon proved to be a really enjoyable evening.

The best was a skit where one of the members had to go into another room where the audience then gave some suggestions. The girl then came in and had to guess why she was late to work and where she worked at with an angry boss guy yelling at her and two of the employees trying to help her guess. The next thing they did was a confessional which thankfully had Ryan Simpson playing the priest. I should explain that the confessional is a long form game that starts off in a confessional where a man confesses to something that the audience suggests, last night his sin was laughing at Jesus, from then a new scene forms enacting out the moment of his sin and then subsequent scenes form from a certain aspect of each scene. A little hit or miss but the group worked together well except for the one bad member that still remained in the group, the other one got kicked out or left or something. The evening ended with the seniors performing another game based off the song “Da Doo Ron Ron”. I had only come to pay my respects to Ryan Simpson, the most talented of the bunch, but was pleasantly surprised by how good the show was, I wish I had gone to more of them this year. Six out of the eight members were graduating leaving the bad member and another guy that is generally quite good.

I saved this part for the end for reasons that will become obvious. When I was in line, which by the way I only had to wait for fifteen minutes before they let me (good stuff), some theatre major kept asking literally every theatre kid if they were going to S & G, standing for those two famed cities of biblical lore, which is the annual ultra-exclusive theatre orgy party. This party is supposed to be so exclusive that no non-majors are supposed to know except everyone knows, which I have never been sure if they know this yet. Did this girl thing I was so naïve that I did not know what she was talking about? Anyway last year the word finally got around to the higher ups in the administration, don’t know how it took so long based on how much they talk about this party in front of people, but the party got canceled. From what I’ve heard the party isn’t actually scandalous at all but I choose to ignore this and stick to the fantasy of them actually having large scale orgies. I’m sure there still is some level of debauchery going on but from what I’ve heard it also serves as the time when theatre traditions, known as wills, are passed down. These can be something important or just some act of hazing that the underclassmen are required to perform. Even if it is just a lame ceremony, the exclusiveness and the threat of an orgy are so worth falling for that I will join in the envy of the non-theatres that can only wish that they could engage in contact with attractive women that otherwise would not pay them any attention whatsoever.